70% of young people say they’re ‘OK’ when they’re not: what our new research tells us

New research from The Happy Confident Company reveals a growing disconnect between what young people are experiencing and what the adults around them know, with many children hiding their worries and increasingly turning to AI for support.

The research, conducted by OnePoll in October 2026, surveyed 2,000 UK young people aged 12 to 17 alongside 2,000 parents of children in the same age group. The findings were surprising… to the extent that the Happy Confident Company have been invited to comment across multiple media outlets over this week. Let’s break it down for you…

When we ask a child, “Are you OK?”, how often does their answer tell us what is really going on? Our new UK-wide research suggests that, for many families, the answer may be: not always.

• Seven in ten young people aged 12 to 17 (70%) told us they have said they were “OK” to a parent or carer when they were actually worried, upset, low or overwhelmed.
• More than half (56%) have hidden a problem that was affecting their everyday life, while 35% said worry, stress, low mood or feeling overwhelmed had made it difficult to cope with everyday life during the past year.

And these struggles often begin much earlier than adolescence. Almost half of young people surveyed (44%) remembered experiencing worries or difficult feelings that affected their everyday lives while they were still at primary school. What emerges is not simply a picture of children struggling. It is a picture of children and parents who both want greater connection, but do not always have the tools or words to get there.

So why aren’t children always opening up?

There are many reasons a child might choose not to talk about what they’re experiencing.

Thirty-five percent told us they would rather not speak to a parent about a worry. For some, the barrier is not wanting to upset their parents. More than a quarter (27%) said worrying or upsetting a parent could prevent them from opening up, while 24% said they find it difficult to explain how they feel.

Interestingly, parents and children do not always see these barriers in the same way. For example, 38% of parents thought their child might stay silent because they feared their parent would not understand, while only 18% of young people identified this as a barrier. Similarly, 45% of parents thought embarrassment could prevent their child from opening up, compared with 29% of young people.

This gap matters.

Sometimes, trying harder to get children to talk is not the answer. What can help is creating the conditions in which talking feels safe, natural and free from pressure. That might mean conversations while walking or driving rather than sitting face-to-face. It might mean starting with what a child has noticed in someone else rather than themselves. And sometimes it simply means being curious rather than immediately trying to fix the problem.

Children are increasingly turning to AI

One of the most significant findings from the research is where some young people are going when they do not feel able to talk to another person.

• Nearly one in three young people surveyed (31%) had used an AI chatbot to talk through a personal problem.
• One in ten said they would feel more comfortable confiding in AI than in a parent or carer.
• Among those who had used AI to discuss a personal worry, 9% had not also spoken to a parent or carer about those worries.

It would be easy to look at these figures and conclude that AI itself is the problem… but the picture is more complicated.

Children and adults are already using AI to find answers, organise their thoughts and ask questions they may initially feel uncomfortable asking another person. The important question is therefore not simply whether families will use AI, but how we make sure technology strengthens human relationships rather than replacing them.

As Nadim Saad, Founder and Chief Happiness Officer of The Happy Confident Company, explains:

“These findings are a stark wake-up call, but they aren’t simply a warning about AI. Families are looking for support and are already turning to AI to solve family challenges. Technology should never replace human connection. However, when used thoughtfully, it can strengthen it.

We need to bridge that gap. Children need to feel safe enough to open up, and parents need to feel equipped to have those important conversations.

That’s why we’ve created the Happy Confident Club, a trusted destination bringing together the knowledge, guidance and practical resources families need to understand themselves and each other.

And now, with Beatrice, our AI-powered parenting and family support coach, we’re making that knowledge accessible in the moments families need it most. Beatrice combines personalised guidance with the Happy Confident Club’s carefully developed videos and activities, helping parents understand what’s happening in their family, reflect on their own reactions and find the resources that can help their children open up.

But what makes her particularly powerful is that she doesn’t just provide advice. She can help families discover engaging videos of children talking about similar experiences, explanations from experts and activities that parents and children can explore together. Because sometimes hearing another child describe a similar struggle is what helps a child find the words to express their own feelings.”